Do You Understand Me?

Do You Understand Me?

by Jennifer George

Communication can be frustrating for babies, toddlers, and twos. It begins at birth. Babies have needs (food, comfort, a change, or a nap). Failed attempts to communicate their needs can lead to long crying spells, tantrums, or even misbehavior. Although you may see the children only during church activities, you can help them communicate with less frustration.

1. Put yourself in their shoes.

As babies grow up, their needs and emotions become complicated. Unfortunately, their vocabularies do not evolve as quickly as their feelings. This can be the cause of many crying spells and temper tantrums--and headaches for you! Before you become frustrated imagine how the child feels. Imagine trying to communicate a need to others, but they did not understand you. Or, how would you behave if you wanted to express your feelings, but didn’t know the words to say? You would feel frustration on top of the unmet needs or tough emotions.

2. Give them the words.

As you tend to a crying or frustrated child, speak to them. Learn the words their parents give to everyday or comfort items (“milk” or “bottle,” “binky” or “pacifier,” “blankie” or “blanket”), then use those words as you meet the needs. Ask the child, “Would you like your milk?” In the case of an angry or frustrated toddler, you can say, “You feel angry (frustrated) right now.” Make a habit of naming items and emotions as you interact with the children. Using parallel talk, or describing what a child does as he or she does it, will help the children learn the words associated with different activities. For example, as a child plays with a teddy bear, say, “You’re holding a teddy bear. This teddy bear is soft.”

3. Talk with your hands.

Sign language is the most effective way to communicate with babies. Between five and eight months of age, babies can learn simple signs and understand their meanings, no matter who is doing them. By nine to twelve months, a child can usually sign back to you. If your nursery staff uses consistent signs for words such as “milk,” “hug,” “diaper,” “hurt,” or “eat,” children in the nursery will learn and use those signs.

Begin by teaching the nursery staff a few words at a time. Use the signs in conversations with the babies, toddlers, and two-year-olds. Say, “Would you like your milk [sign for milk]?” or “Would you like some help [sign for help]?” As the children and nursery workers grow accustomed to using the signs, you will notice the children have fewer tantrums while trying to communicate.

Here are some useful resources: www.signingbaby.com and www.babysigns.com

4. Ask them to repeat it.

Toddlers and two-year-olds are more verbal. However, you still may not be able to understand what they are saying. If you don’t understand something a child says, don’t hesitate to ask him or her to repeat it. Get down to eye level and say, “I’m sorry, I did not understand what you said. Can you say it again?” If this does not help, ask, “Can you show me?” Allow the child to lead you to the desired item, point to a toy he or she wants, or pantomime an action. This loving approach shows you care about what the child wants to tell you.

5. Pray Often.

When you or a child is frustrated due to inability to communicate, take a moment to thank God for the child. Then ask for God’s help to calmly address the need. A brief prayer with the child will also allow God to help you and the child in a moment of stress.