EARLY CHILDHOOD AND DISCIPLINE

EARLY CHILDHOOD AND DISCIPLINE

There are many opinions about discipline and how to use it with young children. Some people believe discipline is a form of punishment used to control a child's behavior through fear of reprimand or pain. The reasoning is: "If the child does not want to feel pain or shame, that child will not repeat the undesirable behavior." What it does teach children is that you control their behavior externally, and they do not need to know right from wrong.

Young children cannot developmentally associate their actions with your punishments. They may not realize the spanking administered was for the slap they gave a sibling. Besides, it is unrealistic to teach "Do not hit" by hitting. The phrase "actions speak louder than words" comes through loud and clear with this concept of punishment.
Other people assume young children do not need discipline. They ignore inappropriate behaviors and reactions in young children. This is a dangerous path, because it teaches young children that undesirable behaviors are acceptable. They will continue inappropriate behavior as they grow and will need to unlearn the behaviors later.
So, what is the alternative when working with young children? Discipline, not punishment. True discipline teaches children, even young children, there are right and wrong behaviors. Then, it goes beyond the behavior and teaches the reason a behavior is wrong. For example, when a child hits another child, remove the child from the situation. Say, "We do not hit." Place the child in a time out area (one minute for each year is appropriate). Provide immediate attention and comfort to the child who was hit.

After the time is up, go back to the child in time out. Say, "We do not hit. Hitting your friend hurt her. It is not OK to hurt other people. We show love instead. We choose to give nice touches." Help the child apologize or give comfort to the friend. This teaches the child that hitting is an unacceptable choice and demonstrates for the child the acceptable choice.

Clear and consistent teaching is the tool to help you discipline young children. Have patience as you repeat the same direction over and over again. At times it may seem young children will never learn what you are trying to teach. Be assured they are learning, and you are providing the tools they need to make the right choices as they grow. This is the reason we take the time to give appropriate discipline through guidance to young children.

-- contributed by Melissa Hammer